Mental Environmentalism

My mental environment is a blank canvass.  It's a green-screen with an ever changing  background.

Sometimes.....I envision that my mind is like the game board from the childhood favorite of  "CandyLand."  And  I spend a lot of time skipping merrily along the pastel path to Gumdrop Pass, Lollypop Woods and the Peppermint Forrest.  Everything is sweet and bright and happy. There's not a care in the world. The sun is shining and the birds are singing and butterflies are flitting about and flowers are blooming and all is well in the world.

Sometimes.....I envision it like the dessert.  Desolate. Burning hot. Sandy. Dangerous. Arid and lonely. The only things growing there are prickly and mean. Scorpions, snakes and cacti.

Sometimes....I envision it dreamy.  Like a misty forest at dusk with a grinning full moon shining down on a faint mist as the fairies and gnomes come out to dance and frolic under the toadstools on the soft green moss of the forest floor.  It's enchanted and magical...but not at all spooky.  Just special.

Sometimes....I envision it like an industrial park.  Lots of gears and cogs turning, turning, turning. Steam rising from the stacks;  working, working, working. Pipes, bolts, drive-belts, machinery.  Clinking, turning, tinkering, churning, whirling and producing. Spewing out waste, yellow radioactive water and filth along with it's consumer products.

Sometimes..........I envision it like a beach. A special retreat for relaxing.  A palm tree swaying over the water in the ocean breeze, seagulls cawing and hopping merrily along the waterline.  Crabs skittering across the sand like drunken old men....and the ocean...undulating and never ending.....coming and going. Coming and going.  High tide, Low tide. With waves that are sometimes calm and easy, sometimes tempestuous - But always there.

Sometimes....it's like a slasher movie.  Something grisly and sinister around every corner......ominous music playing in the background.....dark and foreboding.  Gnarled tree limbs reaching out like arthritic hands into a cloud-bruised sky scared by lightening and punctuated by thunderous booms and sheets of pouring rain and the un-dead and evil are lurking in the shadows.

Sometimes......I see sunshine, fields of daisies and sunflowers and an inviting hammock strung between two stately shade trees.  Fluffy pillows and a good book with a glass of lemonade beckon me to spend the afternoon kicked back and relaxing.

Sometimes..........I see ballerinas, pirouetting en pointe, graceful arms lifted high.  Frilly lace tutus and sparkley tiaras reflecting the stage-lights.

Sometimes I see nothing.  Just darkness.  Nothingness. Blackness. Negative space.

Sometimes............I envision a sidewalk cafe in Paris, a few blocks from the Eiffel Tower- where I am resting at a table, writing in a journal and sipping dark, fragrant, aromatic cafe.  I am nibbling on a buttery rich croissant.  I hear people at other tables, whispering and laughing in French and I feel so very sophisticated and posh. Oui, Oui!

Because my mental environment is subject to my own whims......I don't relish the idea of "Mental Environmentalism" because I like having the varied mental landscapes to call to mind.  How could I cherish the gumdrop mountains, the sidewalk cafe, and the fairies dancing in the misty moonlight without the contrasting evil and blackness to compare it to?  I think I will believe more in a more Darwinistic mental environment......where all thoughts and can exist, but the stronger ones flourish, but the ones I nurture and pay attention to will be more fit for survival.