2015 GOALS
1. Healing I need to take better care of myself. This includes fueling myself with healthy foods, getting enough water, limiting the toxic junk that I put in and on my body, exercising my heart and lungs and muscles, getting enough sleep and rest, not wallowing in self-pity or allowing myself to play the victim. Now that I'm getting older, my body doesn't bounce back as quickly as it once did....and it's the only body I have (with the possible exception of the invention of better, bionic replacement parts). I need to nurture and care of myself a little more.
I have made great strides in this area this year. Not optimal success, but measurable success…..so I’m okay with that. I’m a work in progress.
2. Travel - My burning desire to see the world has not lessened....if anything, it has intensified! I want to see it all! On the trip-planner for this year so far: Miami, Las Vegas, and Pennsylvania.
Well, we didn’t make it to Vegas or Pennsylvania, but we did make it to Europe! Which was much better! We saw Spain, France, Italy (Roma and Florence), Kotor, Greece, and Amsterdam! We saw Miami a couple of times, actually. And we explored a few other local cities near us, up and down the coast…and even in Central Florida, including Epcot, Bush Gardens, Magic Kingdom, and Animal Kingdom. We flew home to Nashville for Jaron’s wedding, and we cruised back to Mexico and Grand Caymen. Not a bad travel year at all!! We have scheduled next years’ big trip to The British Isles (including Paris!) Pretty excited about that!!
3. Mercy - Mercy for those who wrong me, those who irritate me, those who detest me, those who tolerate me. Mercy for myself.....because I am often the worst offender of all of the above. Unmerited Favor. Undeserved Grace....forgiveness when it doesn't make sense. Oh, how I need to both experience and extend more Mercy. Not in an unhealthy- no boundaries- kind of way, but in a loving and kind way. Every single person is fighting a battle; every single person needs to be forgiven, understood, and loved. I want to be a part of that.
Some days were better than others with this goal………….I’m still a work in progress in this area as well.
4. Horseback Riding - it's been on my list for about 3 years now....a hold-over from my childhood, perhaps.......maybe this is the year?
Still no!!!! Will have to carry-over again!
5. Writing - I receive such a joy and an emotional release from the simple act of writing. I have NO idea why this past year, when I needed joy and release almost more than I needed oxygen to breathe, I avoided writing and I avoided relationships and I avoided almost everything that could bring me the relief I so desperately sought. I want to write more.....it doesn't even have to be deep and revealing. I just want to experience the thrill of writing words on paper and seeing thoughts take shape! Poems, Lists, Menus, letters, memos, notes, journals, blogs, notes of encouragement, cards, texts to tell someone that I love them. I just want to express what's locked up inside me with words!
Yes, and No with this goal. I have kept a gratitude journal…and a personal log of events – kind of like a diary…..my poor blog was sadly neglected. I managed to send a few cards and encourage a few folks – but not as much as I had planned on.
6. Joy in The Journey - I want to experience joy on a daily basis. No more waiting for the weekend; no more counting the days until vacation or a trip or an event. No more surviving work days to get to the off days. Because the days that I'm just surviving.....just enduring....just getting through....those are the days of my LIFE. These days precious minutes/hours/seconds that will be gone forever. They are not something to be endured, to "get through" or just bear.....this is the only time I will get to share; to experience; to learn; to love. I have wasted so much time waiting for better days.....I have missed so many small joyous moments waiting for the drama of big events. My new goal is to find joy along the way....to look for roses to smell along the path....to slow down in traffic enough to enjoy getting to the place I look forward to going.
I am getting better at this. I have taken the time to slow down and realize that I should be finding more joy in every situation. I’d like to say that I was 100% successful, but that’s not even possible…..but I’m better than I was before – so that counts as success.
7. Mindfulness This goal goes hand-in-hand with finding joy in the journey. I want to really, truly savor things and be mindful of each blessing. I have rushed to get through work, rushed to run errands, rushed to eat, rushed to clean, rushed to do just about every task that I have to do and I miss so much in my hustle-and-bustle hurry! How many, many times have I squandered the simple joys of feeling sunshine on my arms, a cool breeze in my face....I have given up savoring the rich taste of my morning coffee, stopping to breathe deeply to inhale the fresh scent after the rain, and cherishing the exchange of quiet smiles of the ones I love. I need to just S-L-O-W D-O-W-N and really experience things with all of my senses. To be mindful of even the small, seemingly insignificant things and count them as blessings. How much richer my life will be!!!
Again, I am getting better at this as time passes. I’m not where I want to be, but I’m farther along than I was and this is still my goal.
8. Keeping in Touch - with my family across the globe, with far-flung friends who have moved, with family and friends who stayed put when we keep moving......remembering the good times, remembering the love and laughter we have shared.......and remembering to reach out to those special, precious people to let them know I'm thinking of them. This is something I have neglected, but want to remember to do! This year, I want to be more about interacting, engaging, and connecting and a LOT less about isolating.
I did call my Mom almost every single day; I spoke with my sister more. I have to let the kids drive our correspondence so I’m not too needy with them…..but I have reached out to a couple of far-flung friends. Not too bad for this goal
9. Banishing Fear - Fear of being alone; Fear of being wrong; Fear of loss; Fear of missing out; Fear of failure; Fear of the dark; Fear of FEAR itself. Fear of just about everything. I am tired of being afraid. Adventures, Risks, and (controlled) Danger.....I am seeking you out this year!
I rode roller-coasters. More than one. I got lost in a foreign city in France – where I didn’t speak French and I didn’t think I could make it back to the ship…but I did. I snorkeled!! With my face in the water and I saw THINGS!!! I managed a mine-field of sea-urchins (albeit with a few tears and LOTS of fear). I ate weird foods: snails, alligator, muscles, sushi, frog legs…..and I liked most of them! I stayed by myself and was only a wee-little bit afraid. Slowly, but surely….facing those fears!
10. Continuing to navigate the mine-field of parenting adult children - Still struggling with how to interact with my kids, now that they aren't kids anymore. They are adults: living adult lives, doing adult things, and making adult decisions. That I often don't agree with, believe in, or endorse. But I still love them with more than my whole heart. And I want to support them and encourage them and still have a relationship with them. And it's hard. And it hurts. But it's worth it.
It doesn’t seem like I can spin all of these parent-adult-child plates at the same time. One or the other tends to wobble and threatens to break. It’s so difficult. Sometimes I get it right…..but often I am left feeling resentful, sad, and broken-hearted. There were some glittering moments of perfection, lots of ups and downs, and some outright nose-dive wrecks. But it was still worth it.
11. Marriage - My marriage is precious. It is my shelter from the world, a refuge where I am safe and loved - no matter if I'm getting older, uglier, fatter, or crazier. I want to feed and nurture my relationship with my amazing husband. It just seems to get sweeter and sweeter as time goes by. Our love grows deeper, more mature, and has endured more trials. I want to acknowledge him more....show him that I love him unconditionally and without reservation. I want him to experience the sweetness and romance that he bestows on me. His thoughtfulness, his playfulness, his gifts and acts of service and words of love.......I need to be better at expressing all of these things back to him.
It just keeps getting sweeter and sweeter.
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