Words I do NOT enjoy

Words I absolutely do NOT enjoy:

Depot -    Because it should be De. Pot.   Or Depo.   No silent T.   The silent T is just sneaky.  I’m not fond of sneaky consonants. 

Island – Same issue as Depot.  It isn’t EYE-land or I-land…..but somehow it’s spelled “IS-Land”  A silent, sneaky S.   Why do we need a silent S?  Nope.  We actually DON’T need it.

Omelet – a wad of congealed scrambled eggs, limply lying on a plate.  As in…Omelet these eggs sit here in the pan and solidify because I’m too lazy to scramble them.  Omelet is just nasty.

 Cinch – whether it’s about the Cinch Bug or you want to say something is easy “as in, “It’s a cinch!”  It just sounds icky.  Cinch. Cinch. Cinch.  Ewwwwh.

Pianist – It’s an simply an awkward word.  PEE-an-Ist?  Pee-AN-ist?   I tend to just avoid the awkwardness all together and say, “That person who plays piano.” 

Caucus – It sounds like a dead body, not a quorum for voting. Caucus.  Yuck.

Gulch – it makes you swallow hard to even say it.  Like when you gag…. just before you throw-up. 

Flesh – There is just something almost sickening about the sound of this word:  Flesh.  Just don’t.

Slaw – As in, Cole Slaw.   Although I do enjoy eating a good coleslaw, it sounds like something you should throw to the pigs.  Sloppy Slaw.  Slaw.  Rubbish.  Garbage. Slaw.

Puce- as ugly sounding as the color looks.  Puce is the color of a healing bruise black-eye – still bruised and bluish, but also pinkish with tinges of nasty pea-green.  Puce.  Who thinks….I really, REALLY love the color PUCE?   Nobody. Ever.

Bangs – as in, what you call the fringe of hair on your forehead.  Bangs?  WHY?????? A gunshot?  Bangs, yes.  A door?  Slam it and it bangs, yes.  Hair on your forehead?  NO.  It doesn’t.  Stop it.

Schmear – like, what you order on your bagel.  It sounds like an accident, not something you’d actually WANT on your bagel.  

Wipe – because.  Ewwwwh. 

Menstruation – It has nothing to do with MEN.  The “Struation” makes it sound like a business transaction – which is obviously isn’t.   It’s just a gross word.  Period.   (Pun not intended – but happy accident!!) J

Colonel – because it’s just STUPID.   It’s not pronounced “Co-lon-el” like it should be.   It’s pronounced Kernel.  Like it shouldn’t be.   There is no R in this word!!!  WHY on EARTH do we pronounce it like there’s an R in this word???

Bologna – along the same lines as Colonel.  Because in what Universe does bologna sound like “Ball-on-ee?”   Ours.  Only ours.   Because. Bologna.

Phlegm – it’s onamatapia (however you spell it!!). It sounds like the disgusting, snotty, slimy thing that it is.

Smegma -  Also as gross as it sounds.  

Soggy – it conjures up visions of mildew, mold, soppy wet and muddy messes.  Soggy bread.  Ewwwh.  Soggy ground.  Soggy anything is just nasty.

Sherbet/Sorbet – Sherbet is just  sham ice cream.  An imposter ice cream.  A less creamy, less delicious stand-in for delicious, creamy ice cream.  And it should have an R in the end of the word:  Sher-BERT.  Because that’s how we say it.   And Sorbet is nothing but uppity sherbet. So snobbish.

Masticate – it sounds dirtier than just chewing.  It sounds shameful.  But we should all masticate our food properly.   Nope.  Still sounds dirty.  

Upholstery – The word makes no sense.  Downholstry?  Sideholestry?  NO?  Well, then why UPholstery?  Dumb word.