It's just a "One Time Thing"

Once, when Jaron was a little boy and he was mulling over the oft asked question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"  He was giving the question some unprecedented thought.  He had previously wanted to become a preacher because he said that he wanted, "to get up in front of a lot of people, yell at them and tell them what to do!"  but he abandoned that dream for more the conventional, lofty boyhood dreams of being a lifeguard, a fireman and a Super-Hero.   He always loved science....and thought of becoming a scientist (an interest perhaps sparked by the villains of his beloved Super-Hero comics??) or a businessman.   He briefly entertained thoughts of becoming a farmer after we had watched a special on farming on the History Channel....and he asked his dad about raising pigs.  After getting a detailed explanation about the logistics of raising the pigs, feeding the pigs, selling the pigs and what the pigs were used for (mostly food).......Jaron said, "Why would any body want to raise pigs???  Pigs are a one-time thing!  You eat them and then they are gone!"  

And that phrase came to be one of our family's favorite inside jokes.  When trying to decide if we want to spend money on something......we'd always stop and ask ourselves Jaron's brilliant question...."Is this worth it for a ONE TIME THING?" 

And today.......trying to pin-point the source of an increasing sense of restlessness and discontent that has become my constant companion in recent weeks.......I realized that I spend my life going from one "one time thing" to another "one time thing" and I rarely have the opportunity to contribute anything lasting.  

I wash laundry......and try to take satisfaction in a job well done, only to realize that as soon as the last article of clothing is folded neatly and put way.......there's another pile of laundry already waiting on me.  

I study my magazines; pour over my cookbooks and Pinterest boards and come up with delicious menus, make the grocery list, shop for the groceries, and cook the food. We eat the food and wash the dishes.  And again.....it's a one-time thing.  I like to bake and decorate cakes and desserts.....which are gone within a day or two at most. One time things.

I sweep and mop the floors......30 minutes later (after Sophie goes out and comes back in again....) they are dirty again.  Another one-time thing. I clean the toilets.....a week later and my house smells like a truck-stop bathroom.  The clean doesn't last.  I push the mower and mow the grass....a week later, my yard is an untamed jungle again and I realize.....just another one-time thing.

At work,  there's always another chart to review. Another meeting to attend.  Another problem to solve, another phone call, another complaint, another............whatever.  None of the work I do seems to last longer than a mere little bit of time.......until I have to start all over and do it again. 

It's not really like this for my husband.  His projects tend to be more finite and lasting.  He builds a fence.  The fence is there for years and years.  He plants a tree.  The tree grows for years and years.  He seeds the grass......we have green grass for months and months.   He paints the trim.....and it doesn't have to be redone for years and years.  He builds a bird house and the birdhouse lives in our yard for years.  He built a lamp for his desk a few months ago.  That lamp won't need to be rebuilt.  It's done. Finished.  Something to stand back, admire and say...." I MADE THAT!" 

Perhaps I have chosen the wrong hobbies.  Maybe I need to develop a different skills sets.  Choose projects that last longer than dessert and clean laundry.  Maybe I need to build something that lasts.

But then again, maybe it's just that I'm looking at things in the wrong light.  Maybe I do make things that last longer than the proverbial "one time thing."  Sure, my dessert may be gone in less than 5 minutes......but the memories of sitting around the table and laughing with my loved-ones while we enjoy the dessert do last.  Maybe I will have to continue to wash the clothes and scrub the toilets and clean the kitchen and mop the floors......but my husband can say that all these years, I've kept a nice, comfortable, and welcoming home for our family and friends. 

Maybe the paperwork at the office is never done......but maybe...just maybe I can touch someone and make a difference in their day along the way.  Maybe the fingerprints of the way I've treated someone kindly can leave a lasting impression on them.  Maybe I can say a word of encouragement that can lighten the load for someone who's hurting.  Maybe I can just offer a hug to someone who's lonely.  It doesn't seem like much..........but maybe, just maybe that's how I can find value in my existence.  Because after all, living our lives is just......a ONE TIME THING.