Well, It's been a couple of weeks since I last posted....and yet it seems like almost a lifetime ago!! I had my gastric sleeve surgery on 12-15-11- a week ago yesterday.....and have pretty much been in a painful-nauseated fog since then...but THANKFULLY, the fog is beginning to lift and I believe that I am ready to get back to a routine and live a different life now!
This whole experience has been...wow. I don't even have words to express the jumble of emotions I've been through...often within a very few minutes of each other: apprehension, anxiety, pain, fear, regret, nausea, elation, sense of accomplishment, depression, self-pity, self-pride, appreciation, exhaustion, soreness, despair.....it's been quite the roller coaster ride. I woke up from surgery in quite a bit more pain than I had anticipated. I knew I'd be sore...but I didn't realize how much I would HURT! Worse than the pain was the almost overwhelming nausea that was my constant companion for about 4 days. I couldn't turn my head or even move my eyes without a wave of nausea. Accompanying the nausea was a gnawing headache that lasted for about 4 days as well. Throwing up was the most painful experience...and because of having 2 large babies...every time I threw up, I urinated all over myself (adding insult to injury). I would throw up, scream in pain, wet my pants and cry.....repeat this cycle about every 30-40 minutes for about 4 very miserable days.I was very, very, very, very glad to have that phase of recovery over and done! I literally REJOICED the morning I slept through the night the first time and then didn't throw up all day! I had planned on "bouncing back" in a few days and returning to work in a few days...and being myself. WOW. I so didn't see reality coming!! I was pretty much knocked flat on my hiney for a week. It's been a week yesterday...and today is the first day I've actually felt good and felt like doing a few little things around the house. I even went to the Grocery Store and the Wine Store with Steve and was EVER so happy to get out of the house!!! Of course, once we got home today, it took more than 3 hours of napping and resting on the couch to recover from my "trip" but it was totally worth it! :)
I have watched a lot of day-time TV this week. The first 4 days, I couldn't stand for the TV to even be on...it made my head hurt and trying to look at the screen made my nausea worse...and it doesn't help that every 10 minutes there were about 2-3 commercials for FOOD. I wasn't hungry....but because of the nausea I sure didn't want to think about FOOD in any shape or form. When Steve would watch TV, I'd just have to close my eyes and not look. After about 4 days, I was fine to watch TV and even watch Food Network without it bothering me. The blessing of this surgery is that I don't feel HUNGRY all the time any more!!! I can watch a show about food and not have to be cramming it in my mouth the entire time! (What a novel concept, right??) haha! So I spent my days watching "The Today Show", "Martha Stewart", "House Hunters" and any assortment of Christmas shows on DIY, Food Network and HGTV. I watched a fair share of Hallmark Channel Christmas movies....a guilty pleasure. haha! I know that they are romanticized and sappy and they are SOOO predictable...but they are all kind of sweet too.....and I just liked how in 2 hours, everything sorts itself out and everybody has a very Merry Christmas! If only real life were so accommodating, RIGHT?? I also spent many hours coloring in my secret stash of coloring books (another guilty pleasure...it feels decadent because it serves NO purpose on earth but to entertain myself). I am SO glad I sprung for the 64 box Crayolas!!! :) I tried to read some....I was about 1/3rd of the way through "Emma" again before surgery(HUGE Jane Austin fan) but I found that the hydrocodone elixir jumbled my thoughts until I realized I'd re-read the same paragraphs 5 times and still had not a single clue what I was reading about. I would occasionally leave the sanctuary of my couch/pillow/quits to check my Facebook and email...but sitting upright in the office chair wasn't nearly as comfortable....so my Internet time was limited. There is a strange sense of time compression. I guess I sort of "lost" a few days? I can't even explain it...but I feel like I somehow missed gaps of time. I slept. I slept a LOT....which evidently I needed to help me heal. I think I just needed it period.....I do feel more rested than I have in quite a while.
Today marks the day when I can advance my diet to include Pureed foods. I celebrated this milestone by pouring a can of Campbell's Bean and Bacon soup into a large glass pitcher with a can and a half of water to thin it out and then using the immersion blender to make it into a grayish-brown watery paste. It looked completely gross and stuck to the side of the glass pitcher (like buttermilk??) and smelled suspiciously like dog-food. But I heated it up in the microwave and lo and behold...it tasted REALLY good!!! I've had 2 servings (about 1/4 a cup each) today and enjoyed both servings very much! I have to eat only pureed and liquid foods until I reach 3 weeks post op...at which time I can begin to introduce soft foods. I have calculated this date as 1-5-12, I've marked it on the calendar and MAN, am I looking forward to that day!
I'm actually excited about the pureed foods! I've been on the prep diet for so long prior to surgery and the liquids only 2 weeks before and 1 week after surgery....that I'm getting to have a few foods I haven't had in a while.....just in pureed form. The bean and bacon soup, for example. It's fairly high in protein and low in calories....but it tasted so decadent! I also bought some yogurt today in some really cool flavors that I'm excited about: Carrot Cake, Vanilla Chai, Spiced Pear, and Pomegranate. I also got a few packets of instant mashed potatoes that I can mix with protein powder and thin to a consistency that I can swallow. The problems with the pureed foods is that once I swallow them, if they aren't thinned enough, they cause some tightness and sharp pain once they reach my stomach. I have to take tiny little bites and space them out....which works okay....I just have to be VERY careful about swallowing air. Air bubbles hurt like the DICKENS!!!!! I found that using my Demitasse (however you spell it!) spoons (the tiny ones you use with espresso??) helps me take smaller bites and it takes longer to eat, so I feel more satisfied and I don't get bites that are so large they hurt going down. I guess it's just going to be a process of trial and error to see what I can and can't tolerate. At any rate..I'm just glad to be able to taste and enjoy SOMETHING again!
At a week post op, I'm glad I had the surgery and I'm ready to move forward. IF you'd have asked me any day this past week, I'd have tearfully told you that I wish I'd never done it. Pain has a way of skewing your thinking that way. Today....I think I'm ready to move on and I am planning a LOT of adventures for 2012...which will lead right into my next blog entry! :)
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