Well. Last week I attended my very first psychologist session.....to determine if I'm mentally fit enough to undergo a major lifestyle change and to make sure that I don't have any deep-seated issues that would keep me from being able to follow the very strict post-op instructions for my Gastric Surgery. I'm not sure how I did. The first hour was spent being asked a gazillion opened ended questions about myself and my habits and my preferences and my past. He didn't run from the room screaming with his ears on fire....nor did I dissolve into a puddle of snotty tears.....so I suppose it went okay. The second half of the visit was a 3 hour battery of testing. BOY, did they think of EVERYTHING and then some!! I took the MMPI and then there were these other tests to determine my suicide risk (low), my cognitive abilities (the jury is still out), my risk for an eating disorder (worried about this one), and then lastly....an IQ test to make sure I understand all the instructions and the nutrition plan. Wonder what my IQ is now? I was tested many, many moons ago when I was in high school.....and was placed in the gifted program, supposedly with an IQ of 152. But, that was before I had kids.....since I've had 2 children, my brain has turned to muddy mush with the occasional rock and marble thrown in for good measure....so I'm not sure how I scored on that one. Anyway.....he said that if there were any "problems" with any of my results, I'd be contacted within the next 2 weeks. So....now we wait to see if I'm crazy! Hahaha! Some things are self-evident and don't require a battery of testing, right??
After my extensive psychological testing, I attended an hour long nutrition class with a way-too-perky-27-year-old skinny-as-a-rail nutritionist. The information was valuable, but I had a hard time with her credibility. She kept saying, "I know how you feel about....." when indeed, I really don't think she had a CLUE how I felt about any of it. Anyway.....aside from her over-the-top-way-too happy delivery, it was a good session. I was given my "prep diet" and was informed that I had to lose approximately 31 pounds before I could proceed with my surgery. I was given a shopping list and a menu that goes something like this: Breakfast: Protein Shake mixed with protein powder/skim milk/berries/flax oil. Lunch: 4 ounces chicken or fish, vegetables, 1 whole-grain starch. Dinner: 4 ounces chicken or fish, vegetables, 1 whole grain starch. And....bonus! I can have all the sugar-free jello and sugar free popsicles I want. I can also have 1 glass of V-8 juice per day. I can't have carbonated or caffeinated beverages or juice. I am to drink nothing for 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after eating and certainly nothing to drink WITH my meal.....but I have to drink at least 84 ounces of water per day. You'll probably hear me sloshing before you see me coming.
So, I began this "prep diet" on Friday. And you know what, it isn't all THAT bad....so far. The worst thing about the first 2 days was caffeine withdrawals. Yesterday the headache was constant and unrelenting despite Advil and prayer......but I made it and didn't give in!!! I'm only on day 3, of course. Long-term - this could be crazy difficult to maintain. Yesterday, I was terrified because it's the weekend...and that means facing eating-out. I did okay though. We ate at Wendy's on Saturday after walking for 3 1/2 hours at the zoo....so I was ravenous. I got a large salad with vinaigrette (the only salad dressing I'm allowed to have) and I wasn't even able to finish my salad. The hardest part was waiting 30 minutes after eating to have my unsweetened iced tea. That was the longest 30 minutes EVER. I hope that part gets easier. I've always been a "heavy-drinker" with my meals. I managed okay and for dinner I made Steve a pizza (his request) and I had a bowl of salad with tuna and some vinaigrette and was satisfied! I had a small cup of sugar free jello and a sugar-free popsicle while we watched a movie late last night....although I was coveting Steve's Triscuits that he kept crunching. I felt proud that I was able to stick to my guns and get through an entire Saturday that was rife with temptation!
Today was a bit more difficult. I wasn't able to have my protein shake this morning....I didn't have any milk at all. So I scrambled some Egg-Beaters (which can be substituted for 4 ounces of chicken or fish) and topped that with some spicy salsa (also a free-food) and had a piece of whole-wheat toast. I will just have the protein shake for dinner tonight and swap out the meals, since the nutritionist said that you didn't have to eat the 3 meals in any order. For lunch today, we went to Red Lobster....and again, it worked out GREAT!! I had a salad with vinaigrette, broiled flounder (I don't like fish- so I had to put some vinaigrette on the fish too, to kill the fishy-taste/smell), and the steamed broccoli. I was satisfied and even too full to finish the last bites of broccoli and fish. Again, the hardest part for me was waiting 30 minutes after eating to drink my water with lemon. I did wait though...I just asked the waitress to put my water in a "to-go" cup and toughed it out for 30 minutes. We went to shop in Kohls...so it was more like 50 minutes before I got to drink my water...but when I did...I gulped that water down in one swallow!! hahaha! We then went to Walmart, where I got another 24 ounce bottle of water and that too was gone in mere seconds. Maybe it won't be so difficult to drink 84 ounces of water......because after having to wait.....the water was the best I'd ever tasted! haha! Mind games! :)
The whole thing about not drinking with my meals is because they want food to sit in my stomach for a longer period of time for satiety....and not wash it on through with liquids. Ms. Perky-Nutritionist did a cool demonstration with a funnel and baby food. She poured the baby food into the funnel....and a little bit dripped out the bottom of the funnel, but not much. Then she poured 3 ounces of water into the funnel on top of the baby food and it all shot out the bottom of the funnel very quickly. She said that when we drink with a meal, we pretty much do the same thing....wash the food right out of our bellies before we feel full. Makes sense when I think about it. It's just a totally different paradigm for me.
Also, it's only day 3 today....but my scales are making me VERY happy!! I was down 7 pounds yesterday and another 2 pounds today!! I know it's water weight....but it's still quite delightful (and encouraging) to FINALLY see the numbers going down, instead of up-up-UP!!! I can DO this!!! I even feel a little skinnier! Hahahaha!!! I know that sounds crazy, but I really DO feel smaller! Reality bit hard in the dressing room at Kohls when I tried on a few blouses.....but I think that eating healthier and drinking water makes you FEEL better anyway. Maybe it's just my imagination......or maybe it's simply God's merciful grace to get me through these first few days of what I was thinking would be total depravation. I am now 9 pounds and 3 days closer to my goal!!! And that , my dear friends feels AMAZING !!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to continue to pray for that grace to wash over me every time my mind wanders and loses it's self thinking about french-fries and nachos....for the french fries and nachos are fickle friends......tasting good....but robbing me of my joy. Ain't gonna let 'em!!! AIN'T GONNA LET 'EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can do ALL things thru Christ who strengthens me!!! I can DO this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Fall, Autum, Harvest Season
I love the fall of the year! The briskness in the air, the hint of coolness is such a welcome respite after the long hot summer months! I love how the leaves start to change colors- how they don bright orange, yellow, red and brown dresses for their fanciful flight from the tree tops to the ground! I love the way the leaves crunch and poof up around your feet when you walk through them. I love the way it gets dark earlier…as if to beckon us inside where it’s warm and cozy.
I love the big orange pumpkins and the knobby, warty squashes and the calico-colored ears of Indian corn! I love the odd shapes and crooked necks of the gourds! I love the rainbow colors of Mums and the smell of the bales of hay.
I love caramel apples, apple cider and bobbing for apples! I love how the air seems to have a spicy-smoky aroma all the time, maybe from the burning leaves. I love State Fairs with all the animals and the rides and the deep fried foods and the foods on a stick! I love to see the birds in giant flocks flying south. I also love to see the geese.....flying high in their perfect V-formations! I love putting out bird feed to invite the birdies to stop for a rest and a bite to eat in my back yard.
I love seeing the kids start back to school with brand-spanking new backpacks and shoes! I love school supplies in general…..the pencils, paper, pens, glue, markers, crayons….I could just go on and on! I love seeing little kids all dressed up for Halloween: .princesses, witches, Super Heroes, cowboys! OH they are just ALL so precious!! I love the little fun-sized candy bars that you hand out at Halloween, I love candy corn and I love popcorn balls!
I love acorns, I love hayrides, I love bonfires, I love field trips, I love pumpkin patches, I love fall festivals and I love a big orange harvest moon in a black-velvet sky! I love foggy mornings! I love the fact that I can wear a sweater and pull out the fuzzy, soft warm socks! I love hot, steamy fragrant coffee on a crisp, cool morning! I love mulled apple cider with spicy scents of cinnamon and nutmeg! I love a big crock-pot full of chili for a cool evening’s supper.
Fall, Autumn, Harvest Season….whatever you call it, it’s my favorite time of the year!!!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Reasons
Why do I want to even consider bariatric surgery??? I have many, many reasons:
1. I am unhealthy and my health is declining rapidly. I'm only 43...but I feel like I'm 73.
2. I am in constant pain with my feet/ankles and legs....they were never meant to carry this much weight. It is getting to the point where it just hurts to walk.
3. I can't walk up a single flight of stairs without gasping for breath like a fish out of water.
4. I hate wearing my CPAP.
5. I have high blood pressure and high cholesterol.
6. My kidneys can't handle this much weight either.
7. My heart beat is irregular....and it's probably because I'm so big.
8. I am taking medication for depression....and my depression is directly linked to how big I am.
9. I have no clothes that fit any more. Even my "fat" clothes are getting too small.
10. I can't wear pretty shoes because my feet hurt too badly.
11. I can't wear skirts because my legs are too heavy.
12. I have to go to the "big-girl" store to buy bras. In a size that bras shouldn't come in.
13. All my shirts look like Omar the Tent maker made them.
14. It's hard to be professional as a nurse and educate your patients on nutrition and health when they look at you and you KNOW they're thinking, "Yeah. But look at YOU!"
15. My friends young daughter said while pointing at me, "WOW! Mom! She is so fat!"
16. I am ashamed of how I look....so much so that I limit my activities in public because I'm embarrassed to be seen like this.
17. I don't feel sexually attractive.
18. I have to request the seat-belt extender on an airplane...and if I ever get seated in the middle seat...I have to hug my arms across my body the entire flight so that I can fit in my own seat. I've seen seat-mates roll their eyes when they saw that they were sitting beside me. Ouch.
19. I can't fit into rides at the amusement park.
20. I can't sit in our own lawn chair....it has a weight limit of 275 pounds.
21. I can't go horseback riding. Wouldn't be fair to the horse.
22. I have to be careful where I sit at other people's houses....and pray for a sturdy chair.
23. I cringe when someone wants to take my picture. I HATE seeing how I look in a photograph.
24. I actually take showers in the dark...so that I don't even have to see my naked body myself.
25. I will NOT be naked in front of my husband.
26. I have trouble painting my own toenails....or tying my own shoes.
27. It takes 2-3 tries to get up from a seated position.
28. It's almost impossible to get in/out of my husband's small sports car.
29. I can't keep up with my husband when we go somewhere. I get tired so quickly and he becomes frustrated with my limitations.
30. I haven't worn a swimsuit in public in about 5+ years.
31. I sometimes don't want to even go to church because I feel like I look so awful and huge.
32. I'm afraid I embarrass my family because of my size.
33. I'm embarrassed to eat in front of other people.....I feel like they are judging me and what I eat.
34. I have upset stomach a lot....probably from not eating healthy foods.
35. My wedding ring is getting too small.
36. I can't wear a "regular size" watch band. I had to order an extra large one.
37. I can't buy clothes at regular stores......unless they have a Plus Size department.
38. I can't wear boots. My legs won't fit into them.
39. I have stretch Marks all OVER my body.
40. I get a heat rash from being fat.
41. I can't wear shorts in public...no way am I going to show my legs.
42. I can't wear sleeveless shirts/dresses....my arms are too big.
43. I take 8 prescription medications...and that is EXPENSIVE!!
44. I am terrified of becoming a Diabetic.
45. I'm afraid I will become one of those huge fat women who are confined to their house....I keep having images of the movie, "What's Eating Gilbert Grape."
46. I have stress incontinence. (If Whoppi can admit it, so can I!!) It has to be the weight on my bladder that makes it so bad.
47. I have tried every "diet" out there....at least twice each. And I have failed and failed and failed. I'm terrified of failing again.
48. I want something permanent....I want there to be "no turning back!" I never want to be like this again.
49. I believe gluttony is a sin. And I can't stop sinning. I've repented a gazillion times....but still turn back to it. I'm desperate for help.
50. I want another chance. A Do-Over....and I want to get it right this time.
1. I am unhealthy and my health is declining rapidly. I'm only 43...but I feel like I'm 73.
2. I am in constant pain with my feet/ankles and legs....they were never meant to carry this much weight. It is getting to the point where it just hurts to walk.
3. I can't walk up a single flight of stairs without gasping for breath like a fish out of water.
4. I hate wearing my CPAP.
5. I have high blood pressure and high cholesterol.
6. My kidneys can't handle this much weight either.
7. My heart beat is irregular....and it's probably because I'm so big.
8. I am taking medication for depression....and my depression is directly linked to how big I am.
9. I have no clothes that fit any more. Even my "fat" clothes are getting too small.
10. I can't wear pretty shoes because my feet hurt too badly.
11. I can't wear skirts because my legs are too heavy.
12. I have to go to the "big-girl" store to buy bras. In a size that bras shouldn't come in.
13. All my shirts look like Omar the Tent maker made them.
14. It's hard to be professional as a nurse and educate your patients on nutrition and health when they look at you and you KNOW they're thinking, "Yeah. But look at YOU!"
15. My friends young daughter said while pointing at me, "WOW! Mom! She is so fat!"
16. I am ashamed of how I look....so much so that I limit my activities in public because I'm embarrassed to be seen like this.
17. I don't feel sexually attractive.
18. I have to request the seat-belt extender on an airplane...and if I ever get seated in the middle seat...I have to hug my arms across my body the entire flight so that I can fit in my own seat. I've seen seat-mates roll their eyes when they saw that they were sitting beside me. Ouch.
19. I can't fit into rides at the amusement park.
20. I can't sit in our own lawn chair....it has a weight limit of 275 pounds.
21. I can't go horseback riding. Wouldn't be fair to the horse.
22. I have to be careful where I sit at other people's houses....and pray for a sturdy chair.
23. I cringe when someone wants to take my picture. I HATE seeing how I look in a photograph.
24. I actually take showers in the dark...so that I don't even have to see my naked body myself.
25. I will NOT be naked in front of my husband.
26. I have trouble painting my own toenails....or tying my own shoes.
27. It takes 2-3 tries to get up from a seated position.
28. It's almost impossible to get in/out of my husband's small sports car.
29. I can't keep up with my husband when we go somewhere. I get tired so quickly and he becomes frustrated with my limitations.
30. I haven't worn a swimsuit in public in about 5+ years.
31. I sometimes don't want to even go to church because I feel like I look so awful and huge.
32. I'm afraid I embarrass my family because of my size.
33. I'm embarrassed to eat in front of other people.....I feel like they are judging me and what I eat.
34. I have upset stomach a lot....probably from not eating healthy foods.
35. My wedding ring is getting too small.
36. I can't wear a "regular size" watch band. I had to order an extra large one.
37. I can't buy clothes at regular stores......unless they have a Plus Size department.
38. I can't wear boots. My legs won't fit into them.
39. I have stretch Marks all OVER my body.
40. I get a heat rash from being fat.
41. I can't wear shorts in public...no way am I going to show my legs.
42. I can't wear sleeveless shirts/dresses....my arms are too big.
43. I take 8 prescription medications...and that is EXPENSIVE!!
44. I am terrified of becoming a Diabetic.
45. I'm afraid I will become one of those huge fat women who are confined to their house....I keep having images of the movie, "What's Eating Gilbert Grape."
46. I have stress incontinence. (If Whoppi can admit it, so can I!!) It has to be the weight on my bladder that makes it so bad.
47. I have tried every "diet" out there....at least twice each. And I have failed and failed and failed. I'm terrified of failing again.
48. I want something permanent....I want there to be "no turning back!" I never want to be like this again.
49. I believe gluttony is a sin. And I can't stop sinning. I've repented a gazillion times....but still turn back to it. I'm desperate for help.
50. I want another chance. A Do-Over....and I want to get it right this time.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
A story about being on-call as a home health nurse in the early 1990's
It was a bright, sunny and very hot late summer afternoon and I was the nurse on-call for our Home Health agency. I got the call around 4pm and knew I was going to have to drive over an hour away to see a Hospice patient and start a Morphine infusion because his pain had steadily gotten worse during the day and he needed some relief. I wasn't feeling the best and it was so hot. I had a rumbling in my stomach and just didn't feel like going....but there's not a lot of choice when it's your turn to take call and someone needs you; You just have to buck it up and GO. It was very hot that day...in the upper 90's. This was back when nurses were still required to wear white. It worked out okay for us younger home-care nurses in the summer time, because we'd wear our white dresses with white bobby socks and white nursing shoes and no one seemed to mind that we weren't wearing hose. Wearing a dress with socks was much cooler than wearing stockings or wearing white pants.
So since I was on-call, I loaded up my on-call box with the necessary supplies, piled it all into my truck and headed out to see my patient. He lived on the other side of the Chickamauga Battlefield National Park. If you're not from around my home-town of Fort Oglethorpe, GA....you have to understand that the battlefield (back then) only had a two lane highway, the speed-limit was either 30 or 40 miles per hour the entire way and there was NOWHERE to stop. No gas stations, no restaurants, no convenience stores. Nothing but trees, monuments, Civil War cannons, forests, open fields and miles of hiking trails through the woods.
I left the city and headed south and entered the park. About 5 miles into the battlefield, my stomach started hurting in earnest. It started churning and cramping and rolling and the pain was as bad as either time I was ever in labor during childbirth. The pain became unrelenting and seemed to worsen every second. I broke out in a cold sweat. I got goose-bumps. I needed a bathroom and I needed a bathroom RIGHT THEN. I tried lamaze breathing, but that turned out to help just about as much as it did when I was in labor (which was not at all). I tried singing. I tried praying. I started crying. I have never had to go to the bathroom so badly in my entire life. And I was a good 15 minutes away from civilization by this point. I was in the middle of the woods in a National park with no hope of a bathroom for at least 10-15 miles and I just knew I wasn't going to make it.
Sure enough. Worse came to worse and it just happened a little bit. I pulled off the side of the road and ran back into the woods to complete what had started without my consent. Since I was wearing a dress....I just pulled off my soiled panties and threw them....they caught on a branch and ended up dangling from a tree-branch like some kind of disturbing flag of surrender. I knew that they weren't salvageable any longer anyway....and there was NO WAY they were going back in MY car like they were. So there I was. Squatting in the woods. When the cramping and worse of the pain subsided and I was able to stand upright again. I was a mess! How on earth was I going to clean up enough to get back in the car?? I gingerly walked back out to my truck and raided my emergency supply car-stock. I found a liter bottle of Normal Saline and some packages of 4 X 4 gauze...and a box of gloves! It was the best I could do. I toted the supplies back into the woods and proceeded to give myself a very through sponge bath with my saline and bandages.....all the while praying that I didn't encounter a Park Ranger, a hiker, a Civil War soldier ghost or any wild animals.
Once my bathing was complete....I had two choices. 1. I could turn around, drive back home and get some underwear or 2. I could go ahead and see my patient while not wearing panties. I figured that he was in pain and needed the morphine more than I needed peace of mind about my lack of underwear....so off I went and made the visit. The patient and his family were none the wiser. I had to go back to work the next day and explain the missing supplies.....and boy did they get a hoot out of my story. I actually got several pairs of underwear for Christmas that year to keep in my glove-box in my car. Which, if you think about it, isn't that bad an idea! haha!!!!
I just hope that no unsuspecting Park Ranger ever found those soiled panties hanging from that tree branch.
So since I was on-call, I loaded up my on-call box with the necessary supplies, piled it all into my truck and headed out to see my patient. He lived on the other side of the Chickamauga Battlefield National Park. If you're not from around my home-town of Fort Oglethorpe, GA....you have to understand that the battlefield (back then) only had a two lane highway, the speed-limit was either 30 or 40 miles per hour the entire way and there was NOWHERE to stop. No gas stations, no restaurants, no convenience stores. Nothing but trees, monuments, Civil War cannons, forests, open fields and miles of hiking trails through the woods.
I left the city and headed south and entered the park. About 5 miles into the battlefield, my stomach started hurting in earnest. It started churning and cramping and rolling and the pain was as bad as either time I was ever in labor during childbirth. The pain became unrelenting and seemed to worsen every second. I broke out in a cold sweat. I got goose-bumps. I needed a bathroom and I needed a bathroom RIGHT THEN. I tried lamaze breathing, but that turned out to help just about as much as it did when I was in labor (which was not at all). I tried singing. I tried praying. I started crying. I have never had to go to the bathroom so badly in my entire life. And I was a good 15 minutes away from civilization by this point. I was in the middle of the woods in a National park with no hope of a bathroom for at least 10-15 miles and I just knew I wasn't going to make it.
Sure enough. Worse came to worse and it just happened a little bit. I pulled off the side of the road and ran back into the woods to complete what had started without my consent. Since I was wearing a dress....I just pulled off my soiled panties and threw them....they caught on a branch and ended up dangling from a tree-branch like some kind of disturbing flag of surrender. I knew that they weren't salvageable any longer anyway....and there was NO WAY they were going back in MY car like they were. So there I was. Squatting in the woods. When the cramping and worse of the pain subsided and I was able to stand upright again. I was a mess! How on earth was I going to clean up enough to get back in the car?? I gingerly walked back out to my truck and raided my emergency supply car-stock. I found a liter bottle of Normal Saline and some packages of 4 X 4 gauze...and a box of gloves! It was the best I could do. I toted the supplies back into the woods and proceeded to give myself a very through sponge bath with my saline and bandages.....all the while praying that I didn't encounter a Park Ranger, a hiker, a Civil War soldier ghost or any wild animals.
Once my bathing was complete....I had two choices. 1. I could turn around, drive back home and get some underwear or 2. I could go ahead and see my patient while not wearing panties. I figured that he was in pain and needed the morphine more than I needed peace of mind about my lack of underwear....so off I went and made the visit. The patient and his family were none the wiser. I had to go back to work the next day and explain the missing supplies.....and boy did they get a hoot out of my story. I actually got several pairs of underwear for Christmas that year to keep in my glove-box in my car. Which, if you think about it, isn't that bad an idea! haha!!!!
I just hope that no unsuspecting Park Ranger ever found those soiled panties hanging from that tree branch.
Rambling about the Rain
Rainy days. Sometimes, rainy days can make me feel melancholy and blue and lonely. Some times (like today), rainy days beckon me to feel cozy and long to curl up on my couch with a cup of tea and a good book. It has been a good minute since we've had a rainy day around here.....and today, the heavens opened up and spilled out rain all day long. It's just got me to thinking a lot about rain.
I certainly know that I can tell when rain is coming by the sharp and insistent increase in joint aches and pain....the older I get, the more accurate a meteorologist my joints become! The change in barometric pressure also tends to trigger headaches for me too. I should use this to my advantage and ditch nursing for the Meteorology trade! Or could I combine the two and become a Weather-Nurse? Hmmmm. It's a possibility! Aches and pains aside......rain plays a big part in our lives.
I love a slow and steady gentle rain...the kind my Grandma used to call a "soakin rain" because that's the kind of rain that soaks into the ground and makes the grass green and the garden grow. I don't much care for what she always called "a Toad Strangler," "a Gully Washer" because that was what she called a violent and sudden down-pour - usually accompanied by a thunderstorm.
While there is a certain some awe-inspiring majesty in a good riotous thunderstorm, first hand and very personal experience with an F4 tornado on Easter weekend in 1997 and brushes with Hurricanes Ike, Opal, Bonnie and Andrew have caused a certain amount of storm-anxiety for me. Mother Nature's violent side has a way of striking fear in your heart, for sure.
But I am thinking more about happy-rain today.....which brings to mind songs about happy rain. "Rain Drops Keep Falling On My Head" and "I Love A Rainy Night" and "Have You Ever Seen The Rain" and "Purple Rain" "Listen To The Rhythm Of The Falling Rain", "It's Raining, It's Pouring" , "It's Beginning To Rain", "Holy Spirit - Rain Down", "Showers of Blessings" "Pray for Rain", "Sometimes He Calms The Storm", "Riding the Storm Out" "I Bless The Rains Down In Africa," "I Can See Clearly Now, The Rain Is Gone", "Umbrella," "Rock You Like A Hurricane," "Smokey Mountain Rain" and of course, "Singing In The Rain, and (this one's a stretch...) "It's Raining Men!" Seems to me, there are a lot of folks happy and singing about rain!
But it wouldn't be fair to mention the happy rain songs without at least a nod to some of the sad rain songs. There's "Rainy Days and Mondays" and "Who'll Stop The Rain" and "Mandolin Rain" and "Here Comes The Rain Again" and "It's Raining Again," "Flood", "Here comes that Rainy Day Feelin" and "Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone."
And then there are songs that I can't tell if they are happy-rain or sad-rain songs (maybe they are indifferent rain songs)......"Fire and Rain" or "It Never Rains in Southern California." "Blue Eyes Cryin In The Rain" (one of my late Grandpa's favorites). Anyway. Lots of other people thinking, singing about rain, it seems. I've never really thought about it before....but there sure are a lot of songs about rain!
Guess folks sing about rain, pray for rain, dance for rain, talk about rain, walk in the rain, and then look for rainbows.
There's a line in an old song that keeps coming to mind...."The same rain that grows the crops will drown the rat." Such a random sentence! (I tried to google the name of the song, but I couldn't find it and I don't remember who sang it). But it's true. I guess the "take away" is that all things really are good.....but dangerous if not in moderation; even rain.
Sometimes, rain does make me feel sad. I guess I equate it to Heaven crying and the raindrops are her tears? (Wow. That sounded a lot less cheesy in my head). And sometimes, I guess the gray drabness of cloudy, gloomy days on end can cause a bit of the blues to seep in around the edges.....just like rain-puddle water into your canvas shoes. I see raindrops rolling down the window panes....and they look like sad, sad tears. I hear the rain in the gutters and it sounds mournful. I get raindrop splatters on my pantyhose and it looks like a skin disorder. My hair gets wet and falls limp and flat and I just want to stay home and curl up all day on the couch with my puppy dog (who, for the record, doesn't even CARE if it's a bad-hair day) and a soft blanket and just BE for a while. Sometimes, the rain makes me feel wistful and sigh heavily. Sometimes, it just drizzles and makes me feel mellow.
In the summer, I love the way the rain smells. Especially if it's a really hot day and a cooling shower pops up to ease the heat a bit. I love to see the steam rising from the hot pavement. I love to splash in puddles! I like the way mud squishes between my toes and feels all cool and soothing! I love how the air seems cleaner after the rain washes the skies. I love how the flowers are perkier and how a few raindrops linger on the petals of the rose blossoms like shiny pearls. I love how raindrops look when they are caught in a spiders web - like sparkling diamonds on lace....I love how you can cry in the rain and no one can tell. I love to see rain clouds in the distance when you can see where the rain is falling. I like a good storm at night when we're at the beach. Lightning over the ocean is just breath-taking in beauty. I love the way that the sun colors the sky at sundown right after a storm and the sky turns all those firey shades of orange and gray before the sun disappears. I love the cool relief an unexpected summer storm can bring.
In the winter time, especially around the holidays....I don't mind a few cloudy, rainy cold days. I don't want rainy days on end......that tends to dampen my spirits. But a few rainy, overcast days here and there aren't too bad. Mostly because I live in the south and we rarely see snow for the holidays.....so the cloudy days I like to pretend snow is coming...it just seems more festive and "Christmassy" than the usual sunny, mild days. But I will have to admit that I'm not a big fan of rainy, cold, raw days in January and February because by then the novelty of winter has worn thin and I'm ready for those mild sunny days again!
Rainy days sometimes makes me feel "domestic"....I don't know how, but the rain somehow triggers an instinct to nest. To clean, bake and care for hearth and home. Today has been one of those kind of days. I've gotten the laundry done....and somehow, the sweet smell of the fabric softener and freshly washed sheets just makes me feel so happy! I'm baking some oven-roasted acorn squash right now.....basted with real butter and I've grated some fresh nutmeg and cinnamon over the squash. It is making the house smell absolutely heavenly!!! My husband is home and near by....and my puppy sleeps at my feet. All is well in my refuge from the rainy world- my own little nest; and that makes me very happy, indeed!...Rain or shine! :)
Okay. I promised that my blog would be full of self-indulgent rambling....and this surely proves that! haha! I was just thinking a lot about rain today. :)
I certainly know that I can tell when rain is coming by the sharp and insistent increase in joint aches and pain....the older I get, the more accurate a meteorologist my joints become! The change in barometric pressure also tends to trigger headaches for me too. I should use this to my advantage and ditch nursing for the Meteorology trade! Or could I combine the two and become a Weather-Nurse? Hmmmm. It's a possibility! Aches and pains aside......rain plays a big part in our lives.
I love a slow and steady gentle rain...the kind my Grandma used to call a "soakin rain" because that's the kind of rain that soaks into the ground and makes the grass green and the garden grow. I don't much care for what she always called "a Toad Strangler," "a Gully Washer" because that was what she called a violent and sudden down-pour - usually accompanied by a thunderstorm.
While there is a certain some awe-inspiring majesty in a good riotous thunderstorm, first hand and very personal experience with an F4 tornado on Easter weekend in 1997 and brushes with Hurricanes Ike, Opal, Bonnie and Andrew have caused a certain amount of storm-anxiety for me. Mother Nature's violent side has a way of striking fear in your heart, for sure.
But I am thinking more about happy-rain today.....which brings to mind songs about happy rain. "Rain Drops Keep Falling On My Head" and "I Love A Rainy Night" and "Have You Ever Seen The Rain" and "Purple Rain" "Listen To The Rhythm Of The Falling Rain", "It's Raining, It's Pouring" , "It's Beginning To Rain", "Holy Spirit - Rain Down", "Showers of Blessings" "Pray for Rain", "Sometimes He Calms The Storm", "Riding the Storm Out" "I Bless The Rains Down In Africa," "I Can See Clearly Now, The Rain Is Gone", "Umbrella," "Rock You Like A Hurricane," "Smokey Mountain Rain" and of course, "Singing In The Rain, and (this one's a stretch...) "It's Raining Men!" Seems to me, there are a lot of folks happy and singing about rain!
But it wouldn't be fair to mention the happy rain songs without at least a nod to some of the sad rain songs. There's "Rainy Days and Mondays" and "Who'll Stop The Rain" and "Mandolin Rain" and "Here Comes The Rain Again" and "It's Raining Again," "Flood", "Here comes that Rainy Day Feelin" and "Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone."
And then there are songs that I can't tell if they are happy-rain or sad-rain songs (maybe they are indifferent rain songs)......"Fire and Rain" or "It Never Rains in Southern California." "Blue Eyes Cryin In The Rain" (one of my late Grandpa's favorites). Anyway. Lots of other people thinking, singing about rain, it seems. I've never really thought about it before....but there sure are a lot of songs about rain!
Guess folks sing about rain, pray for rain, dance for rain, talk about rain, walk in the rain, and then look for rainbows.
There's a line in an old song that keeps coming to mind...."The same rain that grows the crops will drown the rat." Such a random sentence! (I tried to google the name of the song, but I couldn't find it and I don't remember who sang it). But it's true. I guess the "take away" is that all things really are good.....but dangerous if not in moderation; even rain.
Sometimes, rain does make me feel sad. I guess I equate it to Heaven crying and the raindrops are her tears? (Wow. That sounded a lot less cheesy in my head). And sometimes, I guess the gray drabness of cloudy, gloomy days on end can cause a bit of the blues to seep in around the edges.....just like rain-puddle water into your canvas shoes. I see raindrops rolling down the window panes....and they look like sad, sad tears. I hear the rain in the gutters and it sounds mournful. I get raindrop splatters on my pantyhose and it looks like a skin disorder. My hair gets wet and falls limp and flat and I just want to stay home and curl up all day on the couch with my puppy dog (who, for the record, doesn't even CARE if it's a bad-hair day) and a soft blanket and just BE for a while. Sometimes, the rain makes me feel wistful and sigh heavily. Sometimes, it just drizzles and makes me feel mellow.
In the summer, I love the way the rain smells. Especially if it's a really hot day and a cooling shower pops up to ease the heat a bit. I love to see the steam rising from the hot pavement. I love to splash in puddles! I like the way mud squishes between my toes and feels all cool and soothing! I love how the air seems cleaner after the rain washes the skies. I love how the flowers are perkier and how a few raindrops linger on the petals of the rose blossoms like shiny pearls. I love how raindrops look when they are caught in a spiders web - like sparkling diamonds on lace....I love how you can cry in the rain and no one can tell. I love to see rain clouds in the distance when you can see where the rain is falling. I like a good storm at night when we're at the beach. Lightning over the ocean is just breath-taking in beauty. I love the way that the sun colors the sky at sundown right after a storm and the sky turns all those firey shades of orange and gray before the sun disappears. I love the cool relief an unexpected summer storm can bring.
In the winter time, especially around the holidays....I don't mind a few cloudy, rainy cold days. I don't want rainy days on end......that tends to dampen my spirits. But a few rainy, overcast days here and there aren't too bad. Mostly because I live in the south and we rarely see snow for the holidays.....so the cloudy days I like to pretend snow is coming...it just seems more festive and "Christmassy" than the usual sunny, mild days. But I will have to admit that I'm not a big fan of rainy, cold, raw days in January and February because by then the novelty of winter has worn thin and I'm ready for those mild sunny days again!
Rainy days sometimes makes me feel "domestic"....I don't know how, but the rain somehow triggers an instinct to nest. To clean, bake and care for hearth and home. Today has been one of those kind of days. I've gotten the laundry done....and somehow, the sweet smell of the fabric softener and freshly washed sheets just makes me feel so happy! I'm baking some oven-roasted acorn squash right now.....basted with real butter and I've grated some fresh nutmeg and cinnamon over the squash. It is making the house smell absolutely heavenly!!! My husband is home and near by....and my puppy sleeps at my feet. All is well in my refuge from the rainy world- my own little nest; and that makes me very happy, indeed!...Rain or shine! :)
Okay. I promised that my blog would be full of self-indulgent rambling....and this surely proves that! haha! I was just thinking a lot about rain today. :)
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