Vacations

It is 2 hours and 45 minutes until my vacation begins and I am so excited about going on vacation!   I love everything about vacation.  I love the planning, the researching, the pouring over destination guides and Trip Advisor and city guides and Urban Spoon to see where to go, what to do and where to eat.  I love looking up historical facts about where we’re going and learning a little bit about the place.  I know, I know….I’m a big, huge nerd…..I embrace this and I savor every luscious minute of my nerdiness!!  J 

I love the anticipation of waiting on the appointed vacation time to arrive.  I love counting down the days!  I enjoy making lists of everything I’ll need to take and I even enjoy packing my suitcase.  I usually have it ready to go a week prior our to departure date.  I love going to the store to get “travel-snacks” and sunscreen and what-not. When the kids were little, I really enjoyed making “travel packs” for them with little toys and activities to entertain them in the car.  I’d always put in some goodies that we’d all enjoy like Brain Quest games, Mad Libs, Travel Bingo cards and the like.  Some of my favorite memories are driving down the road with the kids in the back seat….our entire little family laughing our heads off at our own silly antics.  To this day, you can look at my kids and say one phrase from those trips and we all dissolve into a heap of writhing giggles.  For example, the following phrases ALWAYS elicit a quick laugh:   “Del Champs!”  or “Nibblets!” or “Floppy Hindus!”  or “Monkey Wrench!” or “Nemesis, Nemesis, Nemesis!”  These specific words/phrases mean nothing much to other folks….but for us, these phrases are pure comedic gold.   (See, you always knew the Griffins were a strange lot!) J

I love getting up early the morning of a big trip!  I love the fluttery butterfly feelings I get in my tummy as we run around the house unplugging things, resetting the thermostat and making sure our bed is made and the dishes are all washed and put away (You know, in case I die on the trip….that way no one can talk about what a horrible housekeeper I was at my funeral!!! )   (*Yes, this is an irrational fear of mine; *Yes, I realize it’s not normal.  *No, I can’t help it.) J  I love getting all the suitcases packed into the back of the car and for road-trips, filling a cooler with bottles of water and ice.

There weren’t many trips we took as a family that involved airfare…simply because it’s expensive to fly a family of four to ANY where.  We did fly to Jamaica as a family when Alyssa was in elementary school and Jaron was in preschool…..but that’s the only time we flew…usually, we just drove. 

Flying adds a whole new dimension of excitement to my anticipation.  I have a love-hate relationship with flying.  I’m old enough to remember when flying was considered very glamorous and exciting.  I remember my Aunt and Uncle talking about their flights on Pan-Am and Delta and wishing I could “Fly the Friendly Skies” too!  There’s still just some mystery around flying for me…..the speed with which you can get from here to there….not counting all the waiting time….the time waiting to board, waiting to taxi, waiting to take of, waiting to land, waiting to deplane.  When we flew to Japan, it amazed me to fly into an entire new day.  On the way there, we flew past 15 hours of time!  We got there only 5 hours after we left, even though it was a 20 hour flight!!!  There is not much glamour in enduring a 20 hour flight, mind you….it’s rather tedious to sit in such a small enclosed space with such limited leg room for so long. On the way back home, we endured another 20 hour flight, but we got home shortly after we left….we had 2 entire Saturdays!!!  One in Japan and one back in the States.  My own personal space-time continuum was interrupted and it was fairly mind-boggling for me. 

I love getting to a destination and seeing things for the first time.  I love the different types of architecture, plants and buildings.  I love seeing the local stores, the local cafes and restaurants and hearing the accents of the local people.  I love the new sounds and the new smells….different foods, the sea….different places have different smells.  I love the different colors…..why is it that things are more brightly colored when you are on vacation?  The houses along the beach are brightly colored, the sun umbrellas, the flip-flops, the flowers, the shops, menus, the sky even seems bluer…..it all seems brighter and more cheerful than in my day-to-day life.  Maybe it’s just because I’m relaxed and slowed down enough when I’m on vacation to actually notice the colors….when I spend most ordinary days in a blur of activity and work, taking the scenery for granted. 

I love learning my way around in a new place.  I love figuring out what’s what and where’s where.  I love trying new things, new foods and shopping for things in a different locale.  Even when we’re at the beach and go somewhere as generic as Wal-mart to get groceries…..it takes on a level of excitement that I don’t feel when I go for my weekly, routine errands at home.  Isn’t that odd?  Why is buying a pound of coffee be more fun in Florida than it is in Tennessee?  I don’t know….but I do know that it IS more fun.  WAAAAY more fun. 

As much as I love going places and exploring and learning and experiencing new cultures and new cuisines and new adventures…….I also like it when the vacation is over and we come back home.  There’s just something settling and welcoming and familiar and comforting about coming HOME.  It is nice to have gone, but it’s also nice to return to the nest.  I know I sound like a crazy lady…..but traveling is one of my most favorite things in the entire world.  If I were to win the lottery tomorrow and become filthy rich and never have to work again…..I’d of course get out of debt and make sure my family was well cared for…..but after those things were settled, I’d take my money and set off on a world tour.  I want to see, experience, taste, feel and hear it ALL!!!  From the bright lights in the big cities to the crumbling ruins of antiquity to the rolling sea and the highest mountain above the clouds!  The Jungle, the Rain Forrest, the Desert, the Plains, The Oceans, the Mountains, the Mesas, the Foot Hills, the Tundra, the Valleys, the Hills, the Rocks, the Rills….I want to see it ALL!!!!!!!  My Mamaw used to say that people who liked to travel had ‘itchy feet’……guess I have itchy feet!!  I feel that there is so much to learn from other people, other cultures, and other lands.  I want to experience life through their eyes! 

We’re going to Chicago this trip.  We already have tickets to the Art Museum, the Field Museum, the Willis Tower (Sears Tower), and we’re making plans to see the Navy Pier, the Magnificent Mile, Millennium Park, to take a water-taxi architecture cruise and more. I am dizzy and a-twitter with excitement and anticipation about what we will see and do!!!  And now, it’s only 2 hours and 10 minutes until my vacation!!!  J

Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes...........

Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes……………

Change has always been difficult for me.  I’m plagued by anxiety, uncertainty and an almost paralyzing fear of the unknown.  Even when the change is good….or to my advantage…..I’m still overwhelmed with nerves.  What if I don’t measure up? What if I don’t have what it takes? What if I DO have what it takes, but then can’t maintain it long-term? What if, what if, what if????? 

Is this new path really God’s plan for me, or did I step out on my own accord?  Is it the right thing to choose? Is it the best thing to choose? How will this pathway help/hinder my family? My long-term goals? How does piece of the puzzle fit into the big picture? 

Am I going to like the new circumstances?  Am I going to have regrets? Will I be happy? Will I be miserable? Will I be competent? Will I miss the old way of doing things?  Will life become easier or more difficult?  Will I meet new friends? Will I miss the old ones?

Even though I am well down the primrose path of middle age, I still feel like a little girl who’s pretending to be a grown-up at the conference table….and I’m terrified of being called out on it.  I had hopes and dreams……and I whisper to myself….”Is this IT? Is this all there is to it?”   Because secretly, I suppose I’d hoped it would be more fulfilling. Am I going to settle for just getting by? Making it through…..marking off the days?  Am I making any difference whatsoever?  Does what I do even really matter?  Is this restlessness in my soul a quiet prodding to reconsider my path…..or is it just uncertainty tinged with neurosis?

I tried asking myself, “WHAT EXACTLY is it that you WANT?”   and I couldn’t give any specific answer.  I want a lot of abstract things that are not very measurable or finite such as 1.  Fulfillment.  2. Pride in a job well done, 3. Satisfaction of knowing I’ve given my best shot and done the best I could possibly do, 4. I want to touch people’s lives, 5. I want to make a difference, 5. I want to make friends and be social, 6. I want to have fun in the process, 7.  I want to give God the glory for anything positive that comes from my life, 8. I want to earn a comfortable living and be able to travel. 9. I want to make my family proud of me. 10.  I want to be good at what I do.   But……the details of how all these PIE IN THE SKY dreams come true completely elude me. 

It reminds me of a song we used to sing at Camp Joy….it was a Bible verse set to music….along with some other lines and it goes like this, “Whatsoever ye do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not to men.  Whatsoever ye do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not to men!  Give you BEST every day…..in an unselfish, service-sorrtta-way….whatsoever ye do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not to men.”   That song has been my silent motto ever since I learned to sing it at camp as an awkward 11 year old with bug bitten and bruised up knees.  Every job I’ve had, my school work, my house-work, raising my kids, work in the church….no matter what the task……from teaching Bible Study to cutting a patient’s toenails to scrubbing the toilets in my house to working on a budget report……I’ve always tried to do it heartily and in a manner that would bring Glory to God.  Not that I’ve always pulled it off mind you……….for my failures mount up in a heap that’s taller than Mt. Everest…….but I hope that by God’s grace and mercy…..at least some of the things I’ve done have mattered. 

Life is really kind of funny, isn’t it?  On one hand…..our days sometime seem so long, lonely and trying that we think they will never end.  We toil and strain under burdens so heavy that they threaten to break us……..and in our misery and woe, we feel like time is standing still.   And at other times, we look back and the years have flown by and our kids are grown and gone and we’re looking back and thinking….”It all just happened so fast!”  It was like a blink of an eye!  The Bible even says that our lives are like a vapor…..like a mist that clings to the earth and then quickly vanishes with the rising of the sun.  Chances are that history will not remember us….we will not be famous or noteworthy…..no one will read about us in books or legends.  Are we just faces in an anonymous crowd?  One in a sea of a million more? What makes us special? What gives our lives meaning? What can we do to make a difference before the vapor evaporates?

Oh, Lord!  My prayer is that I can live my life in a manner that is pleasing to YOU.  That my life can somehow touch others….can somehow reflect enough of Your love and kindness that it points others to You.  Help me to trust You with the details….the minutia, the day to day, the small decisions, the big choices…..help me to look to You when I come to the proverbial fork in the road and help me to take the path that You have prepared for me…..not the one I forge on my own.  My machete is dull, the vegetation is dense and my sense of direction is pitiful and I will probably end up going in circles until I collapse of weariness if I strike out on my won through this jungle of a world. Shine the light of Your perfect love into my life and let me reflect it back to the world…..”You word is the lamp unto my feet and the light unto my path.  Never will I fear, as long as You are near….please be near me till the end…….” 

Like the bumper-sticker says, “Let go and Let God.”  Sounds good on a bumper sticker…but it’s harder to live out day to day.  I find that I’m having to pray and ask for strength to let go…..because I just want to hold on tight.  I want to pull and push and rearrange until everything suits ME.  But that’s not the right way.  I need to learn to bend and not break…..to stand and not stumble…..to believe and not doubt.   Change is inevitable.  Nothing lasts forever in this transient world…..not even the world itself.  Meanwhile, I will try to continue to march on, humming my song and doing my best to trust that my future is secure and my anxiety is needless.  God is in control. 

Miss Sophie Anne..

I have a dog.  She is a Miniature Schnauzer and her name is Sophie Anne.  We named her Sophie because Schnauzers are German....and Sophie is my favorite German name (I mean....way nicer than say...Helga, right??).  Her middle name is Anne.....with an e.   Named after my favorite literary character ('Anne of Green Gables') and Steve's favorite literary dog (Little Ann from 'Where the Red Fern Grows').  Sophie was a tiny little 4 pound bundle of fur the first time I laid eyes on her.  I bought her from a little old lady who lived in down-town Nashville who had bred her own Schnauzer and had a litter of three. Sophie was the only girl...salt and pepper and nothing but PRECIOUS!!  She shivered and snuggled up into my arms (and my heart) when I went to look at her....and nothing doing but I had to bring her home with me.  She was only 6 weeks old and she required a TON of work those first few weeks.  She cried a lot....and wanted to be held constantly!!  She was very stubborn to potty-train and it took a good two months to get her piddling outside EVERY time.  It was like having a small infant in the house again!!  She'd wake up at 2am and need to piddle.  She'd wake up again at 4:30am and need to piddle again....wanting to stay up and play each time and whining and crying when I'd put her back in her crate for safe-keeping while I got some much needed sleep. 

We had to keep her in her crate when we weren't constantly watching her because Miss Sophie is a chewer.  A horrible chewer.  We tried putting her in the guest bathroom....because there's much more room for her to exercise than in a crate.....and we left piddle pads for her to go on.  She chewed them to bits.  She pooped out blue plastic piddle pads for days...which scared me.  I mean, plastic isn't GREAT for the digestion, right?  I swear this puppy is half-billy-goat!!!  She'll chew/eat ANY thing!  Including my brand new leather shoe, a book, a magazine, several puppy toys, stuffed animals, the carpet runner at the front door, the quilt on my bed, and the baseboards in our bathroom. 

Not only is she a chewer and a billy-goat who'll eat anything....she is a barker.  She barks incessantly!!  I've bemoaned more than once, "HOW did we get such a rotten yappy dog??" Scolding her doesn't work.  Holding her and trying to comfort her doesn't work.  She just continues to bark.  We finally gave up and bought one of those bark collars.  I hate putting it on her....but we only had to use it once or twice.....and she got the message after only a few shocks.  Now, we just put it on her without even turning it on.....and it still works. She won't bark when it's on......and I'm glad because it breaks my heart to think of her getting "shocks"....even if they are only mild and supposedly harmless. 

She's smart as a whip....can learn tricks and do all sorts of things....IF she wants to.  But she has a stubborn streak a mile-long, a mile-wide and a mile-deep.  She can 'Shake" when you hold your hand out and reach for her paw.  But she doesn't want to.  She HATES shaking hands.  She will squint her eyes and lower her ears and look so humiliated when we force her to shake our hand.  She will sit there until we give the command about 10 times, then reluctantly, she will slowly put the paw up for shaking...along with a heavy sigh of resignation. She is so willful that giving in and shaking hands with us on-command just tears her up!!! But once she shakes, we're always careful to praise her and pet her and act like she just won the Nobel Peace Prize.....and the second and third shake are usually a little more forthcoming.  But she still HATES it.  The look on her face speaks volumes....she looks at us like, "REALLY????  Shake?  Really?  But WHHHHHY must you humiliate me so?"  It's sort of funny.  Sort of.  But we figure that she really needs to know that she needs to mind us.....especially for safety's sake. 

Because she's NOT good at minding either.  I can say, "NO!" when she's digging in the yard and she will look up at me like a willful toddler and go right back to digging.  I can say, "STAY!" when we are outside and she wants to run out into the road......and she will look at me...then take off running as fast as she can for the road.  I can say, "Come in!  Sophie! Come in!" and she will look at me disdainfully and plop down in the grass....as if to thumb her nose at me.  Some mornings, she just refuses to come back in and I have to go out and chase her around the yard and bodily carry her back inside.  I think she thinks it's a game.  It is NOT a fun game for Mommy. 

Yes....I said "Mommy."  My husband is "Daddy."  We've become THOSE people.  People who's children have grown and left home and we've adopted a puppy to be our surrogate child.  We talk to her like she's our child.  Mommy and Daddy again.....to a furry little child with behavior issues.  ;)  Seems familiar (except for the furry part!) hahaha!!!

Sophie is EXTREMELY jealous and honestly believes that she should be the center of attention at ALL times.  If  Steve and I are hugging....she will nose up in between us.  If we're on the couch sitting together...she will sit on top of us both.  She wiggles between us in bed.....and if we're standing in the kitchen, sneaking a smooch....she will sit at our feet and whine and bark until we usually end up laughing.  When Jaron comes over, she can't STAND it when I give him hugs and when I love on him.  Jaron likes to sit on the couch with me and I will rub his back or sometimes just hold him like I used to when he was little.....and it makes Sophie INSANE with jealousy.  She barks at him.  She pushes him away with her head.  She growls at him.  And it's hilarious because Jaron will invariably say, "She was MY Mommy FIRST!!"  and Sophie will cock her head to the side and look so affronted that he usually ends up picking her up and petting her....which makes it all okay.  She loves Jaron....she just doesn't want ME to love Jaron!  Jealous little pup!!! 

She's a lot of company for me when Steve is traveling and I'm home alone.  I love coming home in the evenings to her sweet little face....she's always so excited to see me! I'm greeted with puppy kisses, and she gets so excited that she jumps up and down like she's spring-loaded!  She sits on the couch with me and we watch TV while I pet her.  She follows me upstairs and watches guard while I exercise every morning and evening.....she follows me to the computer and sits on the rug beside me while I check my Facebook and look at Pinterest.....activities that she will tolerate only for a short while before coming over and poking me in the leg with her nose until I give up and pet her instead.  Just like my kids when they were toddlers....she even follows me to the bathroom!!!

She loves to jump into the bathtub.  She's the first dog I've ever seen who likes getting a bath.  She liked it more when she was smaller...and would jump into the tub and bark at me to run the water for her.  If I didn't oblige right away, she'd pounce her front paws on the side of the tub and bark some more....like a spoiled toddler, stomping her feet! 

If she is tired or in trouble, she will try to hide behind the curtain in the office.  It's hilarious!  She thinks that no one can see her and is always surprised when I find her.  I've taken several pictures of her hiding behind the curtain.  Cracks me up every time!!  

We have a very sensitive smoke detector and every time I cook....even if I just boil a pot of water on the stove, the steam sets off the smoke alarm.  And it's VERY loud.  Ear-splitting......and Sophie HATES that smoke alarm.  Every time I turn on the oven to pre-heat or get a pot down from the pot rack to put on the stove, she makes a run for it.  She goes and hides under our bed....peeking out warily until the stove and the oven are safely turned off and we're sitting down to eat.  Then she'll crawl out from under the bed to come sit on the end of the couch and watch us eat.  Watch us take EACH bite.  Staring at us like she's starving.  We won't feed her table food....she only gets premium dry dog food...but that doesn't put an end to her begging. 

Speaking of begging....she LOVES ice cubes.  Every time we put a cup up to the ice dispenser, she's right there, begging for a piece of ice.  And she always gets one.  Because we're suckers for her sweet little face...and ice is just frozen water...so it won't hurt her.  If we get a cup of ice without (Heaven FORBID) giving her a piece, she barks at us accusingly until we relent and give her a piece.  In the grand scheme of things....it takes so very little to make her happy.  :)

Every night...before bed, we have "love-time".....which means that I climb into bed and she climbs in with me and rolls over for me to rub her tummy and tell her what a pretty and good and sweet and precious little doggie she is.  She won't hardly go to sleep without her tummy rub. It's become our nightly ritual....and it's soothing for both her and for me.  So much love and affection.....such sweet puppy kisses!!!  No matter how crazy and awful my day is.....she totally makes me happy again.  Once her tummy has been sufficiently rubbed and she has been sufficiently praised for being wonderful....I roll over onto my tummy and she curls up and snuggles into the small of my back or behind my knees and we go to sleep.  I really don't know what I'd do without my Sophie Anne.  <3  She's a one-in-a-million.  She's rotten and spoiled and stubborn and precious and sweet and affectionate and I wouldn't have her any other way!  <3

Get me my Traveling Shoes!!

I love vacations!  I love everything about a vacation.  I love the planning, the anticipation, the journey there and back, the adventures, the new sights/sounds and smells of different places, the different cultures, the food, the languages, the topography of the land, the break from routine; I love the getting away and the coming back home.  A vacation provides me with a sense of renewal, rejuvenation, discovery, rediscovery, passion, inspiration and creativity!

I love planning for a vacation.  We’re going to take time off and we’re going somewhere!  First question: WHERE?  Beach? Mountain? City or Country? Foreign or Domestic? How to get there? Road trip, flight or cruise? Location and activities? Tropical or Historical?  Theme park or total relaxation?  Somewhere tried and true or somewhere new and exciting?  The possibilities are endless!

When we went to Japan last year, all the planning and anticipation didn’t EVEN prepare me for the actual trip.  It was amazing!  In my planning, I studied websites, books on customs and foods and magazines about Japan.  I looked at countless pictures….even pictures of the exact places we planned ongoing that my daughter had taken previously.  I thought I was ready and would know what to expect.  But once we actually got there and stepped off the plane…I was at once overwhelmed (in a totally GOOD way) by the sounds of people all around me speaking Japanese, the sounds of cars, trains, buses, traffic and bicycle bells….. the smells of seafood and ramen, the tantalizing odor of breads and pastries baking in the French bakeries, the familiar smell of french-fries at McDonald………and the visual stimulation of the riotous cacophony of all the COLORS!  The colors were so vividly beautiful!  It might have been the 15 hour time difference and bone-deep weary feeling of jet-lag, but I remember feeling like I was in a dream-like state and everything seemed like it was being projected in magical Technicolor!!  I remember walking along the sidewalks, looking up at temples and shrines and shopping centers and apartment buildings with clothes hanging out to dry on each balcony…..the ultra-modern juxtaposed with the ancient…..all in vibrant reds, yellows, oranges, gleaming sleek steel and glass and rich dark brown woods and the delicate white of the rice paper panels and I was thinking….WOW. What a land of dichotomy! My mind had a hard time wrapping itself around the diversity of these new experiences because they were so unlike my usual routine.  Which is EXACTLY the point of travel! J

I’ve had the same feeling of “travel-awe” before….but it has never been quite as striking as on the trip to Japan.  I felt the same feelings when we stood on the shore of the Abacos Islands in the Northern Bahamas…..looking at the colorful tiny shops and rainbow-sherbet colored beach houses. Smelling the sea and the fish faintly above the intoxicating scent of coconut-suntan oil…..hearing the sing-song, musical inflection of Native Islanders calling out to entice us to purchase their wares and hearing the metallic and happy sound of a steel-drum band playing in the distance while a refreshing ocean breeze cooled my face that was heated by the tropical sunshine….and seeing the diamond sparkles of the sunlight as it danced on top of the waves. 

The same feeling of awe again when I was in Telum, Mexico…seeing a sunning Gecko atop the rough-hewn stone ruins of Mayan temples that were built hundreds and hundreds of years ago…..the ruins are positioned on top of a cliff overlooking the bluest ocean I’ve ever seen.  Feeling the stubborn tufts of green grass rooted in the dusty white sand under my feet and the trickle of sweat down my face as we climbed up the hill.  There was a sweet smell of frying churros and the sound of vendors trying to tempt us to buy drinks with shouts of “!Cerveza Fria!  !Cerveza Fria!”  

Again, in Jamaica on top of Blue Mountain at a coffee plantation…..looking out across the lush green vegetation and vibrant red and orange tropical flowers and seeing the brilliant red coffee beans growing on the bright green bushes…..looking down the side of the mountain through the hazy humidity and being able to see all the way out to the sea - shining like mirrored glass in the distance. Hearing the lyrical cadence of our Jamaican tour-guide’s silky voice tell all about harvesting coffee beans and bananas. The textures also stand out in my mind…..the roughness of the palm tree trunks, the slick tropical green banana palm leaves, the smooth mocha color of the lady dancers skin contrasting with the bright yellow and red ruffled cotton dresses they wore, the softness of the hibiscus flower petals on my face and the pebbly sticky sweaty vinyl seat of the tour-bus we were riding in. 

In South Carolina, in Hilton Head….I remember seeing the Spanish moss hanging down low from the live oaks’ branches…looking almost eerie as it swayed slightly in the evening breeze at dusk.  The way the alligators seemed to smile at me as I peddled by on my bicycle made me giggle…..because I thought they were smiling because they thought I’d make a good afternoon snack!! I loved the way the comical looking crabs on the beach skittered sideways through the sand like they were in a terrible hurry.  I loved watching the graceful water-fowl swoop down for a bill-full of fish near the shore.  I loved the mesmerizing shadows of the sea-oats on the sand as they gently swayed in the hot afternoon ocean breeze. I loved the crazy antics of the dolphins as they dove in and out of the surf and the way the tiny silver fish jumped out of their way in frenzied groups as the dolphins fished for their breakfast. I loved riding our bikes along the concrete pathways through the shade-dappled woods and by the lakes flanked by serene herons and ternes standing on one foot at the water's edge. And I loved the wobbly sandy trails we left behind as we rode along on the packed wet sand of the beach itself.

In Williamsburg, VA….I was feeling a completely different vibe….but it was still thrilling!  I walked along cobblestone streets and saw old buildings that were important during the beginning of our country’s history.  I saw the way the women of old cooked their foods over an open fire that would be scorching, miserable and hot in July and August but that would be equally as cozy and inviting in January and February.  I saw how they forged metal, how they mixed and dried bricks, how they sawed logs and built houses and barns, how they cured leather to make shoes and belts, how they turned the stone to grind the wheat to make the bread…..all without the modern conveniences of electricity or running water.  I loved to close my eyes and pretend that I was alive back in that day….wearing a corseted dress and button-topped shoes as I went about my business of keeping house. I envision myself riding in a horse and carriage instead of a car….entertaining myself with books and stories by candlelight instead of being planted in front of a television or computer screen.  How different life must have been for women back then!!  In so many, many ways, much harder….but in some ways….maybe not as rushed and harried; although I suppose I have a romanticized viewpoint of the way it would have been. 

Other places I have visited that have inspired me would be:

Charleston with it’s Rainbow Row along the Battery.

Savannah with it’s old churches, parks, pirate houses and cemeteries.

New Orleans with it’s nightclubs, party-atmosphere, restaurants, French Market and Voo-Doo along the Mississippi River.

Sanibel and Captiva Islands with the lighthouse and seashells so thick along the beach that I was afraid to walk for fear of breaking some of the beautiful ones!

 

The mountains of North Georgia where Native American Indians used to roam the inhabited land of waterfalls and tall trees

The Smokey Mountains of North Carolina – shrouded in their smoky-misty-mantle, boasting black bears in trees and shy deer at the edges of forests. 

The green, rolling hills of Tennessee dotted with old feed stores, barns, horses and “See Rock City” birdhouses.  

The sand hills of North Carolina, green with growing tobacco fields and old brown leaning tobacco-drying barns.  

The flat cornfields and soybean fields of Indiana and the bluegrass fields and streams of Kentucky. 

The entertainment magic of Orlando, Florida where Disney has sprawled across the middle of the state bringing commerce, restaurants and entertainment in it’s wake. 

The great state of Texas where everything is bigger, the roads are longer and dustier and armadillos loiter…..looking like possums that just left a Renaissance festival, still wearing their medieval armor.

Atlanta, Georgia…where gracious Southern mansions with waxy green magnolia trees in the yard abut urban developments spray-painted with gang-sign graffiti.

Chattanooga, TN – a city cradled in the arms of the southern tip of the Appalachian Mountains and rocked to sleep by the gentle waves of the Tennessee River.

There are so many other places I want to visit….so much in the world I want to see, feel, taste, smell and experience!  I want to see the green fields and mossy rocks of Ireland,  the old castles of Europe, the colorful cities of Italy and the white-washed shores of Greece!  I want to see the ancient Roman ruins, the palaces of old-ago kingdoms and the works of art that birthed Renaissance! I want to sip coffee at a picturesque side walk café in France and visit vineyards and olive groves along the way. I want to watch ships sail from the harbors and ride a train at night so I can fall asleep to the sound of the clickity-clack of the wheels on the tracks. I want to ride a camel in the dessert!  I want to see the jungle and smell the flowers and scale the mountains and breathe the air and swim in the depths and soar to the heights!! 

What a wonderfully diverse, magical, mysterious and enticing world we’ve been given!!  My goal is to explore as much of it as possible! 

My Two Cents Worth.....(and we all know that a penny isn't worth much these days) ;)

I have very purposefully not commented on any of the very ugly posts concerning the hot-button issues that have been posted on Facebook by my friends…..my friends and my family members on both sides of the issues. I have read posts by my Christian friends the past few days that made me literally CRINGE.  The hatred, the ugliness, the scorn, judgment and condemnation portrayed in some of their posts (often coupled with Bible verses!) break my heart.  And while I do believe with my whole heart that God calls us to stand for what is right….I don’t think He calls us to hate or hurt or condemn in the process.  In my Bible, I never read where Jesus confronted or condemned anyone who was in sin or hurting ….he LOVED them.  He hung out with them. He had dinner with them.  The only people he EVER condemned were the self-important religious people who judged others.  There’s a message in that for us, fellow-believers.  We are ALL sinners and we have no stones to throw....so please drop your rocks.

How do I define sin?  Anything that is contrary to God’s word. Sin can be thoughts, actions, lack of action, attitudes, beliefs……anything that breaks God’s heart. I refuse to be sucked into the quagmire of trying to determine exactly which actions constitute sin and which do not…….I can only answer that question for myself and my own conscious…I’m not about to try to determine what would be sinful for anyone else…that is not my responsibility……THANK GOODNESS! 

As humans, we tend to categorize sin.  We find that some sins are horrible…. and some are just petty little sins.  Kind of like the way we categorize a system of lying: we have lies and then we have “little white lies.”  Both are still untrue.  I think we look at people who sin differently than we do and think, “Wow.  At least I’m not doing as bad as THAT guy!” and we justify our own sin and arrive at a dangerous place of thinking that we’re better off than we are.  Truly, not a single one of us has a justifiable reason to think we are better than any other of us. We are ALL sinners.  With God, wrong is wrong is wrong.  There are no degrees of wrong.  ANY sin breaks our fellowship with God.  And the Bible is very clear that it doesn’t even take action to sin….our very thoughts are sinful.  The Bible pretty much says, “If you think it, it’s just as bad as doing it.”  

I’m as guilty as the next person…..I look at murderers, pedophiles, rapists, extortionists, cheaters, adulterers, robbers, thieves, gang-members, drug dealers, and so on and so forth….and I think “Wow.  I’m a pretty good person! I’ve never done any of these terrible things!  But am I really any better in God’s eyes?  Nope. I still sin.  Daily. Hourly.  Probably minute by minute.   My thoughts are not God’s thoughts.  My ways are not God’s ways.  He looks at the convicted criminal and he looks at me.....and he simply sees his own child that He loves so much that He gave his life for him……He grieves over the wrong that his child has done…..but He doesn’t love them any less…..and neither should we.

This concept really hit home for me when my own son was convicted of drug possession when he was 17 years old.  He knew better, but he did it anyway. I was heart-broken.  I cried for days and days on end.  I was angry with him and I was hurt by him and by his actions and apparent lack of thought for his own future.  But I never, ever, EVER for one single second stopped loving him.  I would lay down my own life for his without giving it a second thought. But even though I loved him completely…..I had to allow him to face the consequences of his own actions.  It was painful to watch.  It broke my heart.  But it was a necessary part of his learning experience.  One night, when I was sobbing my heart out, praying and crying and grieving over everything that had happened, it was like someone turned on a light-bulb in my brain and it dawned on me….THIS.  This is how God feels when I sin.  He’s hurt by me.  He’s angry with me.  He knows that I knew better and chose to sin anyway….and He’s going to make me face the consequences of my actions…but He NEVER, EVER for one single second stops loving me.  No matter what I do.  

When this kind of love and mercy is extended to us…..how can we in turn offer anything less than God’s love to others?  How can we afford to accept God’s forgiveness so freely….then turn around and condemn a friend because he has different (or, in our eyes….worse) “sins” than we do? 

I don’t think we can be a beacon of hope or a spokes-person for Jesus by being hateful.  Our pithy little Facebook posts with thinly veiled judgment, pictures or comments taken out of context, or outright condemnation are not going to point ANYONE to Christ.  Quite the opposite.  They are a turn-off.  People KNOW that Christians aren’t perfect…and they know that we have no right to judge them…… but there we go, doing it anyway….and we do it in the name of trying to evangelize!!! We’re not winning any one…and it scares me to think that what we’re doing is probably pointing people in the other direction.  Here’s a scary newsflash:  The world doesn’t want to be like us….they don’t want ANYTHING to do with what we say we have….because we don’t package it or market it very well. We don’t practice what we preach. We’re hypocrites.  We say, “God is Love!”  and then we don’t act very lovely.  We say, “God blesses me!” and then we don’t act very blessed.  

A few years back, I was working as a Hospice nurse in Chattanooga and we had a team for an AIDS benefit walk called “The Strides of March” to benefit AIDS research.  As nurses, therapists, chaplains and social workers….we worked with people dying of AIDS every single day and wanted to make a difference in those lives that we touched.  Along the downtown route that was marked off for the benefit walk, people stood with protest signs that said, “REPENT! YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!”  and as we walked by, they spit on us, called us horribly offensive names like “homos, fags, lesbos” and one red-faced man waved his Bible and spit on me as I walked by….loudly proclaiming, “YOU ARE AN ABOMINIATION!”  I was there as a nurse supporting my patients……I wasn’t even his target audience….and yet his ugliness and hatred sticks with me to this day!!  He actually thought he was doing God’s work by spewing hatred and ignorance on everybody who walked by him.  It was one of the saddest things I’ve ever experienced in my life.  Not because he called me names….but because the way he acted is how many people view “Christians” as a whole….and in my mind, he was not being very Christ-like at all.  Jesus NEVER called anyone names (except for the hypocritical, judgmental, religious men….and boy-oh-boy, did He have quite a bit to say to them!).  He never belittled people who needed Him.  He never publically shamed anyone.  He obviously never spit on them.  My goodness, haven’t we taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque and just allowed ourselves to be misled?   Satan is laughing while we do all his work for him.

A few weeks back, I posted my opinion on the spectacle some of my women friends from church were making over the whole “Magic Mike” movie and I opined that I didn’t think it was becoming for married, Christian women to be openly lusting after the young men in that movie…..and I stated that I wondered what kind of a message we were sending and what example we were setting for our young daughters. While I do believe that with my whole heart that it is not okay to lust after anyone (even movie stars)……my post was perceived to be judgmental and harsh and hurtful to many of my friends and the back-lash was immediate.  I was called “Judgmental Judy” and was told that I had a “stick up my butt” and one lady even suggested that I’d probably never enjoyed sex nor ever had a day of fun in my whole life.  She said that God gave her more than “Two goody two shoes” and that she enjoyed wearing all of her “God-given shoes” and implied that I wouldn’t get very far in my single pair of goody-goody shoes.  I don’t know about all that shoe stuff…..but afterwards, I worried that what I posted was indeed too harsh judgmental…..wasn’t I just pointing out their wrong-doing instead of focusing on confessing and repenting and turning from my own sin? Probably so. It’s hard for me to know where to draw the line.  When is saying what you believe “standing up for what you believe in” and when is it just meddling? How do I determine if I am offering Godly advice to fellow believers or if I’m just being “holier than thou?”  Discernment is not a black and white issue for me……there is a whole box of Crayons tied up in this for me….shades and nuances that must be weighed and balanced.  

I try my best to be cognizant of my own judgmental feelings…..because, yes….even though I try not to have them…..they are there…and sometimes, they bubble to the surface.  It is my goal to show the world the LOVE of Christ.  It is my goal to show the forgiveness and mercy and grace of my wonderful Savior! It is not my place, it is not my goal and it is not my intention to do anything but point people to Jesus.  It’s His kindness that leads us to repentance….not condemnation or judgment. (Romans 2:4).  It’s knowing that God loves us…no matter what we do……….or more correctly maybe - in spite of what we do. 

I would hope that anyone who knows me well should know exactly where I stand on these current political/moral/ethical issues and hot-button topics by the way I live my life on a daily basis……..but you will have to forgive me because I refuse to post or repost things that reduce my faith and believes down to a “bumper-sticker” mentality and I refuse to post or repost anything that I think might be hurtful or judgmental to anyone on either side of the fence. I have friends and family members who could be hurt by thoughtless comments either way…… and I don’t want to be a stumbling block to anyone. There’s a line in a Casting Crowns song that says something like, “They’re trying to get to Jesus, but they are tripping over me.”   Sometimes, I fear that is the case for me.

I am not perfect.  I don’t always get it right.  I make a mess of things and I hurt people that I don’t intend to hurt.  I’m selfish. I’m lazy and I tend to take the easy way out.  I hate confrontation and discord and will avoid it at all costs.  I am the poster-child for mercy and grace because I’ve needed so much of both to cover everything I’ve done wrong in my life….but. I don’t always love as I should. I don’t always extend forgiveness as I should.  I try to live openly and honestly….but I don’t always pull it off.  I don’t always say the right things or do the right things (or honestly…even THINK the right things sometimes!). 

I’m trying to live my life the best way I can…and in doing so…..hopefully leave some kind of fingerprints of mercy and grace on the lives of those I touch.  I will not be posting my opinions on the so called “homophobic chicken sandwiches” or “Obama-Care” or even the presidential elections…. because these issues are so polarizing and have caused so much discord…even among believers.  If you truly want to know what I believe…we can have a civilized and respectful conversation in person and I will be more than glad to tell you what I believe and why I believe it.  I’m just sick to death of all the ugliness on-line.    

Jesus Loves Me, this I know……and my earnest prayer is that I can somehow reflect that perfect love back into the world in a manner that makes people WANT to know Him too!